Social Boundaries

This IS one thing I find difficult. As I mentioned in Walking Boundaries so many wonderful friends can get the wrong idea if for one event I manage to walk across the room or look happy and dress nicely! Most importantly I set hte boundaries and I decide how much I can and can't do.
It is the explanations I might have to go through with the people who don't understand that knock me out. Question after question can be exhausting especially if there is no one else there to change the subject. "how are you" can be thrown at me and I have had a few text-book answers over the years. Currently it is "my good days are a bit better and my bad days aren't quite so bad"!
Usually that is enough now and I can ask the question back or find out about their children or holiday and the subject is changed.
Socially I don't go out for more than an hour or so. I am a member of a knitting group, a book club and a couple of other groups around here. But me actually attending is now understood better. I usually get there when the club starts, so there are sometimes fewer people and therfore less noise and less excitement (and less booze!) I go for a short time, my husband has a time in mind to pick me up. So when he knocks on the door I can leave without question. The decision to actually leave the house and go to these groups can be left to the last few hours or even minutes. I know how I am feeling and if tiredness comes on quickly in the evening I am able to just not show up and I will have an email in the morning letting me know how it went and checking if I'm alright. I also never make firm arrangements with people I know won't take a cancelation very well.
So how did I find these wonderfully understanding friends? Word of mouth is one of the best things. Local community groups have been my foundation for this. (some suggestions of these came from my neighbour, so word of mouth is definitely priority) I was a member of a choir and an amateur dramatic group in my twenties and made attending these my priority in the week...even just sitting and reading out a couple of lines was enough to make me feel involved. Through these groups I met people of all ages and know many of them still. I have also met so many of my friends through other friends. My husband and I started going to church again, when I was well enough, a couple of years after we were married. An occasional Sunday and I would have a good sing, a silent meditation and some community spirit. So many churches have the simplest things as coffee mornings children's outings or sewing groups and even if you are a totally different age to those who attends, I bet their children or neighbour will have exactly the same hobby or illness as you and will became regular contacts!
One thing I have done constantly is tell the truth. I get better feedback from everyone I meet if I don't try to be someone else. I am who I am and socially the more people who know that the better.
 "I have ME"
"oh isn't that the one where you're just tired all the time?"
"yes that's part of it, but it's an immune system disorder and neurological illness"
Say immune system and neurological to anyone and they get the picture well enough.