Friday 25 May 2012

The Simplest Things...

...Can lead to a few bad days. Or as I prefer to call them hibernation, or not-so-good days.
Hibernation can come about for just a few hours, a couple of days or a few weeks or months. It can be a result of many things. Firstly by overdoing it. Overdoing it, I have mentioned before. It can be seen as a failure, a desire for more when more is just not possible. By fulfilling that desire, hibernation is the result. It can be agreeing to lunch with a friend when you know that bed should really be a more sensible option for the rest of the day, or not cancelling an arrangement because it has been a guiding light for weeks in advance. Sometimes it is actually worth fulfilling that desire or arrangement and as an ME patient that is the personal decision that has to be made. It can bring happy memories- glimpses- for weeks to come, or it can bring about guilt, shame, disappointment and regret. It is learning to accept the result which can shorten the required rest time. This type of hibernation can also be brought about by impulsiveness. I can be impulsive. I expect many people can be. To please a friend or make life easier for myself I will choose impulsiveness over sensibility. It works most times; other times I have to pick myself up, dust myself down (hibernate for a short while!) and start all over again!
Another simple thing can be an unexpected burden. Cognitive activity should not be underestimated in this illness. An unforeseen financial or family situation can use up a lot of energy and bring about hibernation. The main reason for this is the increased insomnia that is brought about (for many sufferers insomnia is a daily symptom). We all have nights when tossing and turning is brought on by thoughts and burdens. For an ME patient this coming on top of non-restorative daytime rest just creates further symptoms such as headaches, migraines, increased pain elsewhere in the body and cognitive confusion beyond belief.
One more simple thing to mention is infections and viruses. The immune system is working overtime in an ME sufferer so an infection of the slightest degree will be fought as soon as looked at and all the energy the body has will go towards this fight. In some cases it is in dysfunction to the other extreme so that colds and flus bring on worse regular symptoms- runny nose, temperature, coughs and indigestion. In both extremes another hibernation is induced. This is unpredictable, totally devastating and most definitely a reason for longer-term hibernation.
We have to accept these interruptions in our road to recovery and even in our darkest stability months and years. The simplest things can lengthen our illness, but they are very difficult to avoid.

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